ADHD counselling for adults: How counselling can boost self-compassion & emotional resilience

Counselling for adults with ADHD

While many people with ADHD find medication helpful, counselling can also play an invaluable role in helping them understand their diagnosis and adapt to how ADHD influences their lives. It’s not just about managing symptoms - it’s about nurturing self-acceptance and building emotional understanding.

ADHD often goes hand in hand with challenges such as anxiety, depression, or even addictive behaviours, which can take a significant emotional toll. Many adults with ADHD experience lingering feelings of self-doubt, a sense of not belonging, or believing they’re simply “not good enough.” These feelings often stem from years of misunderstood differences and unmet expectations.

Counselling can provide a safe, supportive space to process these emotions and develop self-compassion. It can encourage a more positive relationship with yourself—recognising that your brain isn’t the enemy, but rather something that has valiantly adapted to a world designed without your neurodivergent needs in mind.

Seeking out support can be especially transformative for adults who have lived with undiagnosed ADHD for years, grappling with unexplained difficulties before finally receiving clarity and understanding through a diagnosis, or for those who simply want a space to explore how their ADHD affects them.  

Why ADHD-informed counselling makes a difference

When choosing a counsellor or therapist, it’s vital to find someone with experience and understanding of ADHD - someone who can empathise with your experience.  

Whilst there are common ADHD traits, the way your ADHD affects your life is completely individual, so helping your therapist understand how your ADHD plays out is essential. This allows the two of you to make the most out of your sessions, possibly reimagining how therapy may look, to ensure it suits you and is supportive of your needs.

Possible adaptations might include:

  • Shorter, more focused sessions

  • Alternative seating arrangements or movement-friendly / standing approaches

  • Welcoming comfort tools like fidget toys

  • Avoiding screens; perhaps using a phone instead

  • Trying a “walk and talk” therapy format

These small but important adjustments help you engage more fully, preventing overwhelm and fatigue, and ensure you have the best possible experience.

Managing emotions & rebuilding confidence

ADHD can often bring emotional hurdles - difficulty regulating emotions, low self-esteem, and chronic overwhelm. Counselling helps you make sense of these patterns and rebuild your emotional wellbeing by:

  • Identifying emotional triggers and learning calming techniques

  • Exploring self-critical beliefs and rewriting your narrative with kindness and acceptance

  • Practicing self-reflection and reframing ADHD-related struggles as strengths

Strengthening daily living skills

Beyond emotional healing, counselling can equip you with practical strategies to improve everyday function, including:

  • Organising tasks into manageable steps

  • Structuring your day with routines and reminders

  • Enhancing executive functioning skills like time management, planning, and prioritisation

  • Reframing narratives that haven’t been supportive of your ADHD

Supporting relationships with couples therapy

ADHD can influence relationships in subtle ways. Couples therapy tailored to ADHD helps partners:

  • Communicate with empathy

  • Understand each other’s neurodivergent expressions

  • Replace blame with acceptance and cooperation

Relationship therapy can help you to communicate and listen better, and build greater understanding of the way ADHD shows up in your relationship, and have more compassion for it. It may help you embrace and nurture it, rather than scapegoating it.

Being open in the therapeutic journey

Honesty is key. Let your therapist know exactly what isn’t working - and what is. Therapy is a collaborative journey, often involving trial and error. A good therapist will welcome your feedback as they will want you to benefit fully from each session, and do all they can to help you get there.

Michelle Ruth